Warthur In principle, there's some tolerable music on this album. It happens when neither the Captain nor the backing singers are singing. (Yes, there are backing singers, and yes, it's a disaster. "Oooh, Captain Captain" is not something I ever want to hear on a Beefheart record.) With the entire Magic Band departing after Unconditionally Guaranteed, Bluejeans and Moonbeams sees the Captain fronting an all-new lineup, the much-derided Tragic Band. The thing is, they do a decent bluesy folk-rock backing - and then the Captain comes along and wrecks it by drawling out some of the most insipid lyrics he's produced. The album threatens to come alive with the opening number, Party of Special Things to Do, the only song displaying Beefheart's usual lyrical inventiveness, but even this is sabotaged by lacklustre production.

If it were all-instrumental, then maybe it'd merit two or three stars, but I have to give it one star simply because it's a badly thought-out album that was based on a fundamentally unworkable idea - making Captain Beefheart sing love songs in front of a soft rock band. Either go for the avant-garde audience and get some musicians in who can bring Beefheart's vision to life, or head for the mainstream - in which case Beefheart is the last person you want onboard. If you build your album on such a fundamentally flawed premise, you're going to end up with a shoddy album; it's that simple.